Salvation Stories I

[READ ME FIRST]

Alright, so I have no real idea what I'm doing here. This is me just playing around with script writing for a comic or graphic novel. I've looked at a few samples of formatting and I know that my format is off. I don't list out specific pages, just the panels - I'm not sure how the panels would be oriented. The size, number per page, which would be small panels and which would be full page, etc. That is something I'd want to sketch out with my artist first. It might be a little tricky to read, and not as fluid, since its a script form instead of prose.

A few notes on the (sloppy) formatting. (OFF) means the speaker is out of view in the panel. (cont) indicates a second speech bubble on the same panel. "Panel X+" indicates I don't know (or care, particularly) how many panels a scene will require - so the numbering of subsequent panels would change depending on that. And again, I'm just making this up as I go.

Also, this hasn't even gone through a first edit. This is pure, first time through rough draft. Will be through many revisions, edits, and changes, including completely changing the direction of the scene. I also know the pacing a bit rushed.. I just wanted to finish this tonight. And we know how Blogger loves to mess with formatting.

Alright, enough excuses. Here you go.

[Salvation Stories]

[Tales from Heaven and Hell]

[Issue 01]

”Devil Gets His Due”

PANEL 1

Bird's eye view of Washington Road in Augusta, GA, from just beyond Beverly Heights Dr to the west, to Stelling Rd to the east.

CAPTION

Augusta, Georgia

PANEL 2

Closer now, with just Sharon Dr to the west and a driveway entrance to the east. Now the diner is more apparent in the center of the frame.

CAPTION

Very Vera Diner

PANEL 3

Much closer view of diner, taking up most of the panel. View is from street level, or just above.

PANEL 4

INTERIOR: Very Vera diner. LUCIFER enters the diner, scans the room, and heads straight to a booth. LUCIFER's face is not visible, but he is a nondescript human at the moment.

PANEL 5

Angle from behind LUCIFER's legs as he approaches the booth where JOHNNY is sitting. JOHNNY is a middle aged man with a short and rough gray beard and a battered cowboy hat. Leaning against the booth is a worn and beaten up fiddle case.

PANEL 6

LUCIFER sits across from JOHNNY, face still obscured. We can see that he is blond, handsome, with a neatly trimmed goatee.

JOHNNY

Sit down, have a piece of cake.

PANEL 7

Side angle, with LUCIFER and JOHNNY on either side of the table

LUCIFER

You remember me?

JOHNNY

They have the best carrot cake here, you know.

PANEL 8

LUCIFER is not interested. He leans back in the booth.

LUCIFER

You didn't answer me.

PANEL 9

JOHNNY grins while enjoying his carrot cake

JOHNNY

Yeah, I remember, you old devil.

PANEL 10

Shot of the beaten up fiddle case

JOHNNY (OFF)

You know, the last thirty years have been quite kind    
to me, thanks to you.

PANEL 11

Shot of the diner wall, with local news clippings framed on the wall, and blue ribbons and similar awards. Several talk about JOHNNY, who appears to be very famous here.

JOHNNY (OFF)

I don't even play much anymore. I just go around 
showing off the old girl, people like to see it. They 
like to hear our story.

PANEL 12

Side angle on LUCIFER, looking out the window

LUCIFER

Happy to be of service. One lucky stroke for you and 
you get to live in luxury.

PANEL 13

Back to Johnny, finishing his cake

JOHNNY

You and I both know it ain't luck. I'm just a fairer 
hand with a bow is all.

PANEL 14

Shot of LUCIFER, with an Up To No Good look

LUCIFER

No? Then what about another wager? Double or nothing?

PANEL 15

Back to the view of the booth with both men. JOHNNY looks wary

JOHNNY

It's been thirty years, son. These old bones ain't 
what they used to be.

PANEL 16

LUCIFER smiles his devilish smile

LUCIFER

That is not what you said last week at the summer 
fair.

PANEL 17

FLASHBACK - EXTERIOR: Typical country fair, with JOHNNY standing on top of a stack of hay, with a large crowd gathered. His fiddle case is opened at his feet, though the instrument isn't visible from this angle. JOHNNY is shouting to the crowd.

JOHNNY

And I could beat him again if he showed his face 
tomorrow!

The crowd cheers.

PANEL 18

INTERIOR: Very Vera. LUCIFER glances down towards the fiddle case

LUCIFER

If you are defrauding the public, I believe I will 
have my fiddle back.

PANEL 19

JOHNNY, still enjoying his cake, doesn't bother to look up

JOHNNY

I was the best there's ever been, and I could beat you 
again as sure as the sun will rise. But I don't need a 
second fiddle. Why should you get another shot?

LUCIFER

Your wife is ill - I would bet her health to your soul 
that you can't win again.

PANEL 20

JOHNNY stops, setting down his fork, which still has the last bite of cake. Glaring up from under the brim of his hat,

JOHNNY

What do you know about Sarah? Did you do this to her, 
you sonofabitch?

PANEL 21

LUCIFER raises his hands in a sign of innocence, shaking his head

LUCIFER

No, of course not. I have no control over disease.. 
But I know the man who does.

PANEL 22

Close up of LUCIFER's face, focusing on his sinister smile, all teeth and malice.

LUCIFER

What'll it be, boy? Give up your fiddle of gold, or 
play for her life?

PANEL 23

JOHNNY glares at LUCIFER still, lip curled in a sneer. He gets up, grabbing the case and heading towards the door

JOHNNY

Let's dance.

PANEL 24

EXTERIOR: Very Vera Parking Lot. LUCIFER and JOHNNY stand opposite each other. JOHNNY has his golden fiddle at his side, LUCIFER has his hands in his pockets.

LUCIFER

You don't have to do this, you know. You could always 
pray.

PANEL 25

JOHNNY spits on the parking lot pavement.

JOHNNY

You're in for a show son. Now sit down and let me 
remind you how it's done.

PANEL 26+

Through a series of panels, JOHNNY plays a wild and furious tune on his golden fiddle. At first he is confident.

CAPTION

The Golden Fiddle was never out of tune, and it sang 
to his fingers.

Over a few panels, he misses a few notes and plays a few wrong ones

CAPTION

But over the years he relied on the fame and fortune 
his tale and his remarkable fiddle brought him.

Some of the hairs of the bow begin to snap

CAPTION

His fingers were weak and his joints were sore. The 
notes that once came so easily had become harder to 
play, and he struggled to keep up with the melody.

PANEL 27

JOHNNY fumbles and drops the fiddle, which cracks as it hits the ground. LUCIFER stands towering over JOHNNY, who looks suddenly weak.

PANEL 28

Upward angle towards LUCIFER, who is now grinning, and his eyes are completely black

LUCIFER

Now, Johnny boy, it's my turn.

PANEL 29

LUCIFER summons a fiddle with a flare of fire. The fiddle is sleek, with a minimalist frame, and a very long bow appears in his hand.

PANEL 30+

Over a few panels, LUCIFER plays a sinister tune, with notes of sparks and fire arcing from the instrument. The ground beneath the two men blackens as if scorched, radiating from their spot, as the asphalt cracks and splits, with heat radiating up from the fissures.

PANEL 31

LUCIFER, still playing, looks down at JOHNNY with black eyes as the background darkens. LUCIFER is illuminated from below, as if from the light of Hell itself.

LUCIFER

You are right. You were the best there's ever been. 
But you bested me once and your arrogance consumed 
you.

PANEL 32

The ground beneath JOHNNY opens up, and he falls into Hell itself, as a lick of fire shoots up from the hole.

PANEL 33

The ground seals back up, and Lucifer is standing where he was before, looking at the spot where JOHNNY vanished. LUCIFER's fiddle is gone, JOHNNY is nowhere to be seen. The Golden Fiddle lay cracked upon the ground

PANEL 34

Downward angle of LUCIFER looking down at the spot where JOHNNY vanished. There is nothing to suggest a hellhole had been there a moment before.

LUCIFER

You know what they say..

(cont)

contritionem praecedit superbia et ante ruinam.

CAPTION

Pride goeth before a fall. (Prov. 16.18)

END